This is the best house and lot in the entire neighborhood because I said so and also because it is 12,000 square feet and no one does a better job taking care of it than I do. I am asking for a lot because I have done a lot of improvements on the house like installed a $30,000 driveway and side BBQ patio that will NEVER need to be painted as it was imported from Canada to take abuse from harsh weather conditions. Also, the BBQ station in the back has a nice white granite counter top which is next to the best BANANAS in ALL OF MIAMI that is a strain imported from Cuba (rumors) but to prove it I can make you the best protein shakes and banana walnut breads, in fact I will include a 10 walnut breads if you buy this house for the asking price. Our gardening is the BEST in the 33165 hood. It consists of 6 foot fence surrounding 80% of the property and 15 feet high Podocarpos (I think that is what they are called) that stuff cost me easily $10k to install and would be worth like millions if installed today so this is why I am offering the house at such a bargain price. Dude, the great wall of green got so high that the gardener accidentally cut the cable line and left us without internet for a week but good news is that now the cable is underground. It is truly like a Great wall of where none of my neighbors see me, especially if I want to pee or pick my nose. Ultimate privacy! I have installed amazing technology like the RING doorbell and cameras. I also can include the dog which is a Siberian Husky but he does not guard much but he looks REALLY cool. All of the windows are PGT and can take a beating from all the hurricanes. The house comes with all the furniture which cost like $50k or i can sell it on offerup where I get low balled. If you want an amazing house with a driveway you will never have to paint, privacy all of the neighbors envy than this is the house to buy! Serious buyers only anyone that offers me less than my asking price will get their e-mails and phone sent to spam farms and craiglist ads looking for a good time. Also, if you are a real estate salesperson please do not bother in trying to contact me to be my agent, not interested. If anything I am doing you a favor because you can sell all the houses around my hood to people and give them a "great deal" at $600k when mine is selling for $2,000,000 so you should thank me and send me gifts and money if you sell homes because I am helping you. Got it? Thank you!
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