2011 NE 59th Ave, Portland, OR 97213

The sights. The smells. The lifestyle. Excellent amenability for all facets of life. Park adjacent-adjacent with respect to fun and games. Thoroughly insulated, completely occupied. Protects from appliance damage and a contains the soul screams. Bathroom mirror? Fantastic. The greatness of the yard layout beautifully rendered in expert scenes apart from this world! Stare into the bathroom mirror and most residents experience an instantaneous and horrifying sleep-paralysis containing a bleak vision of mortality. If you’re one of those 90%, after gazing into the stygian hellscape that is your new reality, you’ll slip into unconsciousness and feel yourself involuntarily stepping through the mirror looking glass into a “not-world”. Your identical twin meets you there. Your doppleganger points at you and laughs a shrill chattering laugh, turns into a screeching falcon, and flies into the blood-red sun where he watches over you as a god. Suddenly, you’re on a viking ship, skimming across a lake of white-cold fire. You feel nothing except the emptiness of absence. A lone wolf howls. You will yourself to feel something. Anything. You try to scream, but blood pours from your mouth, coalescing into the form of a hideous infant smoking a long pipe. His rage is blinding. At last, you find yourself poised before two doors. One leads to eternal joy, the other to hellish misery. Choose correctly, and you’ll drift back to consciousness. Unbeatable tuck-under garage. Must see! The blood. The blood. The blood. The blood.